Advice
by Jtoasn
Summary: The truth was, Remus was hopeless when it came to talking to girls. A one-shot about how Remus got to talk to a girl. Sort of Au and OOC. Remus x OC.


**Advice **

The truth was Lupin was hopeless at talking to girls...

"I'm not staring"

"You're staring"

"I'm not staring"

"Is he staring?"

"Nah..."

"Thank you"

"It's more like gawking"

"Ugh... leave me alone," Remus said and he looked up just in time to catch her walking towards them.

"Are you ready to order?"

"No!" Remus said quickly, the others rolled his eyes as the server held up her hand in self-defence, walking away from the table quickly.

"Stop doing that"

"I can't help it," Remus said, and he hit himself with the menu.

Especially when he liked a girl, he just said the wrong things.

"Moony, you just have to calm down and think about what you say before you say it," Sirius said, as he helped himself to more bread that was on the table.

"Yeah... but, I don't know... when I think of something to say, I forget it as soon as she gets near"

"You've been chasing after Elvira every day since you first came to this restaurant, if you want to ask her out you have to say something nice to her eventually" James said.

"Sh... here she comes" Sirius said, and they all looked at their menus.

"Are you ready to order yet?" Elvira asked.

"Peperoni pizza... extra anchovies, and coke"

"Vegetarian pizza, coke" Sirius said and he exchanged a glance at Remus, so that he could order next, but he didn't speak.

"Supreme, fanta please" Peter said, and they all looked expectantly at Remus, waiting for him to speak, waiting for him to screw it up.

He took a deep breath, "I-er...uh..."

'_Think before you speak. Think!_' He told himself.

"Pardon?"

And she was looking at him, and he forgot to think. "I'm not hungry"

Elvira averted her gaze, "Okay, I'll be right back with your drinks"

She walked away and as she did she heard a thunk, turning back she saw the boy named Remus (she had asked) banging his head on the table, as his friends whispering to him in rapid sentences.

Remus looked up at the others helplessly, "Can I have some of your pizza when it comes out?"

"Go buy one for yourself," James said, trying to get Remus to talk to Elvira again.

Remus sighed, "This is hopeless, I thought you guys would help me with this"

"We are helping you! You're the ones that's hopeless when it comes to girls"

"Why don't you just let _me_ talk to her?" Sirius asked.

Remus made a face, the last time he let Sirius talk to a girl for him, he had gotten and the girl and he was left alone again. He didn't want to give Elvira up that easily, but he didn't have her now in the first place.

"Here you go," she said as she put their drinks down, she looked at Remus and smiled politely "are you sure you won't want something to eat?"

Remus opened his mouth, to say something. However, James (who sat next to him) covered his mouth.

"He'll have a peperoni pizza with coke, right Remus?" He nodded, while his mouth was still covered, he tried to smile.

She smiled at Remus and nodded, "I'll add that to the list"

He finally let go of Remus, "I'm sorry, it was for your own good"

Remus looked at Peter and Sirius, but they nodded too.

"He's right; you would've been eating from my pizza"

"And you would have said something stupid as well, think about it. He just saved your relationship"

Remus rolled his eyes and mumbled a "Thanks" to James who patted him on the back, "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be able to talk to her, eventually"

******

"Should we order out?"

"But I'm making food," Lily said from the kitchen.

"I don't think it'll be enough" James replied, "How about Italian?"

"No... I'm not in the mood"

"How about pizza?" Sirius suggested.

"But that means we have to go and get it"

"Not me" Peter said quickly.

"Well, since Remus is the only one that isn't here... why doesn't he go get it? Let's call now," James said quickly, smiling evilly at the predicament that they were forcing Remus into.

"I think it's a great idea! We all love pizza right?" Sirius said cheerfully as he picked up the phone, "What do you guys want?"

The room was filled with the noise of calling and requesting their food.

"What are you guys doing?" Remus asked as he came in with Isis.

"Ordering... and since you weren't here, you have to go get it" James said cheerfully.

"Oh, but Isis wasn't here either"

"Don't ask a lady to do men's work! Don't be so selfish Remus" Sirius said.

"Okay okay, just pass me the money and the list of things"

"We ordered pizza" Lily added helpfully.

"Oh... ok... what!" Remus exclaimed. But he was being pushed out the door by Sirius and James "No... I can't go there... no, you... I ... wait!"

They slammed the door on him, "Say hello to Elvira for us!"

"And get me a bottle of water!"

They both gave each other a high five and then turned around; the other members were looking at them incredulously, wondering why they were treating Remus like that.

They looked at each other guiltily, "Okay, let us explain"

******

Remus was hyperventilating whilst he walked down the stairs, every couple of steps he would turn around and then turn back.

"I can do this... no, this is stupid, no... Wait I can do this...no!"

When he finally decided that he _wasn't_ going to the pizza shop, he was already standing in front of the shop. He closed his eyes and exhaled.

"I can do this, just think before you speak"

He nodded his head to himself, whilst mumbling to himself, and walked into the shop. However, it seemed that a customer that was making quiet a fuss with his favourite waitress.

"Can't you do a simple order? I asked for no pepperoni, you know what this does to my stomach?"

"I-I'm so sorry sir, if you will allow us, we'd be happy to exchange it"

"And how can I be sure that you won't screw that order up too!"

"Well, then we can refund you the price for your pizza"

"I don't want my money; I want my pizza, made like I asked for it!"

She looked down the line at the other customers that were waiting and gave them an apologetic look.

"Hey, hey, I'm talking to you. Is it that hard to do something as simple as this? Weren't you talented enough to go to school or something like that?"

"Hey, you shouldn't look down on people who serve you!" Remus exclaimed to the man, from the back of the line "She seems very talented to be able to put up with a bastard like you for all this time"

The whole restaurant was quiet; and then the customers waiting started to cheer. The man blushed and walked out, leaving his pizza, the other workers took over Elvira's counter.

Remus walked past and went to the fridge to get James's water. He turned around to see Elvira standing there, a smile on her face.

'_Wait... is she smiling at me_?'

"That was amazing, thank you," she said to him and he blushed.

"Oh er... um... "He cleared his throat, just to not say anything mean to her.

"You're Remus right? I'm Elvira"

"Y-yeah... I know"

"You do?"

"Nametag"

She blushed and touched the metallic thing on her lapel. "Oh, yeah... um... well, I should be back to work"

"Mm... yeah" Remus said, his mouth suddenly dry "I... uh... go too"

She nodded and smiled, "I'll see you around?"

He nodded.

"Okay... so-so I'll go" pointing to the door that led back to the kitchen,

He went to the register and paid for the water.

It took him one block of walking in the cold, while drinking the water to realise.

'_I just talked to her! And I didn't say anything stupid_!'

He could have screamed out in happiness if he wasn't so self aware of everyone looking at him.

"What are you smiling about?" James asked when he came back.

Remus just laughed and jumped down onto the sofa, smiling broadly, the answer obvious.

"So you talked to her?"

He nodded goofily.

"That's great Moony!"

Remus blushed and started to walk to the kitchen.

"Um... Moony?"

"Yeah?" He said happily turning around, facing the others.

"Did you forget something?"

Remus shrugged.

They turned to each other, "Okay, so Moony's useless when it comes to going to the pizza shop now, which's one of you are going?"

_-_-_-_

Rightyo. The characters I've taken from NoTeS SiStEr, because we invented them together at school. But credit goes to her for that.

I always imagined Remus would be a little shy when it came to girls, not as suave as James or Sirius.

**Read and Review**

**-Jtoasn  
**


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